Saturday Morning

This week was insane! I was on a Grade 11 Retreat up in the mountains for a couple days and it was quite the experience. 86 kids, 11 other teachers, 1 semi-odd speaker and moi!
It was gorgeous where we were... surrounded by mountains, fresh air, cool breezes... felt like a beautiful spring morning.. all the time! It was nice to hang out with the kids away from all the pressures and structure of school.

I ended up having a lot of really serious and deep discussions. You know when people ask you those questions that have no real answer but you feel like you owe them one? Lots and lots of those! Lots of crying girls and sorting out different problems... but it was good! We also had a ton of fun and played stupid games and just chilled. I like things like this because inevitably I gain new appreciation for kids who usually slip under the radar. So it was nice for me to be able to get my focus back and realize that I need to be there for them on more than an English Educational level.

For the last while I felt rather dead in a spiritual sense but then going home at Christmas, talking with my parents and a few other people.. really helped me get my focus back. I think it was great that I came back from holidays strong because I needed to be when I was on this retreat. It's cool how God works these things out.. and His timing is perfect.

I have been really struggling with whether I stay or go next year. I know I signed the contract but I signed it, pretty sure I was going to break it. But I haven't been feeling at peace about it at all. I haven't felt at peace about any decision I've been making.. but I think I'm starting to realize and accept the fact that I need to stay here for one final year. That means 18 more months.. well closer to 17.. which means I'm actually halfway through the entire time I think I'll be here. But I know I need to learn contentment.. I know that I need to be here and I know that I need to trust that God knows what He is doing about this...

Besides, if I stay a final year.. beginning next year I can let it be known that I'm planning on leaving.. hence I'll be able to get excellent reference letters and put together a solid resume and application package for other schools. I won't be doing this sneaky ... under the counter kind of thing.

Also, I'm on a budget. And I need some time to learn to live on it. If I move somewhere ... like HK right away.. I'll probably jump into greater debt and who knows... this way if I can be careful with my money, I can build up a bit of a bank, pay some debt and be better equipped for what is next.

Another thing is the career confidence aspect. I feel like this year I understand what in the world I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like I'm a better teacher overall and that is exciting. I would like to be able to continue to develop it.. instead of start over in another school. I think I spoke with some of you about how an English teacher from America was supposed to come back again and most likely he would take my A1 class back... and how I was prepared to fight for it but would definitely leave if they gave it to him... well as of Monday, he isn't coming back this year.... so that is another good sign and reason to definitely stay!

And another reason is that MK and I still have lots of days of fun ahead of us! It'll be nice to have one final year together before she moves off to some remote area and marries some rich Ambassador or something and starts having lots of babies..... (it could happen!)... but knowing I have someone like her here... makes the thought of staying that much more bearable!

Ok that's it for now...