Because I'm Better Than You!

Brothers are interesting people to talk to. Mine is for sure. We've gotten a lot closer over the years, and appreciate the fact that we both grew up across the hall from each other and both have our own insights into why we are/act/behave/think the way we do. During one of our brother/sister conversations I mentioned his ex-girlfriend and how basically, he was better than she was. Anyway that got a major response and turned into this whole conversation about whether or not you can say someone is better than you or you are better than them. I don't mean in the sense of someone's worth as a person.. but in the sense of quality.

I think because in dealing with break-ups I tend to tell myself: "I'm too good for him." translation: I'm better than him. I don't know if this is true or not. I know I'll have friends who will tell me: "You're too good for him. He doesn't deserve you," and other nice things that good friends are supposed to say. So in this conversation I mentioned to my brother that both he and I were too good for our X's. My brother is actually extremely intelligent and so took the moment to not only make me feel like total shit about myself but state all sorts of things that were contrary to that idea.

I suppose it comes down to how we measure "better" or maybe that is the wrong word. When thinking about the X.. well I was taller, older, more educated, funnier, from a more mentally stable family, had more opportunities... He was shorter, younger, less educated, but nicer than me and more 'street smart'... So perhaps its a losing conversation... I mean does "nice" outweigh "education"??? Anyway because I was so comfortable in that relationship, I was able to be lazy. I wasn't Jessica at Full Potential at all. But whose fault is that?

I would say that in an ideal relationship setting it is important for two things to occur. First of all, it is important that you like who you are when you are with that person. Second, I think that person brings out all of the good things in you and make you strive to be better.
However in order for that to happen, someone usually needs to be better... the better man/woman brings out the best in his/her girlfriend/boyfriend. But maybe it's not a matter of having someone be better. It's a matter of each being excellent in certain things.. each being able to bring out the best in certain areas of each other. There is equality when it comes to excellence.

So maybe that's it, with both my brother's X and mine, we weren't being pushed and driven towards excellence, we weren't pushing and driving the other person towards excellence either...we were both in comfortable relationships... so maybe in those kind of relationships, there isn't a "better" man at all. Everyone loses in a way.